These last couple of days have been hell for me. I’d find myself weeping at least three times a day over the same old stuff I just can’t seem to shake. Shelf image, boys, trying to hear Gods voce, did I mention boys already if not BOYS! However, today I sat on the couch crying so hard my chest started to hurt, I began to kind of yell at God. I’ve been trying to give him my problems and not dwell on them but like I said already I keep finding myself crying uncontrollable all over again. All of a sudden a thought popped into my head and I slowly started to calm down. YOU CANT TRUST ANYONE!!!!! No matter how much they promise not to hurt you, or tell you how much they love you. They WILL fail you and you will end up like me, crying and asking God why. There could be a lot of different reasons why this boy has made such a huge impact on my life to have me so torn up like this, but one of them I can be sure of, is that I needed to learn to only have my faith in God. I know that I put my faith people way to much and I end up hurt…a lot. I think this was a good reminder to stop. Trusting anyone or anything (money) other than Jesus Christ himself is very dangerous and can only lead to your own demise.

Maybe its just me, if not here’s your confirmation. (we probably are crazy though)



The hope I hold on to…

Sometimes I think if I could just get the perfect syntax put together you’d want me again. However, I know that no matter how masterful I say I love you and I want you and that i’d do ANYTHING for you. If you don’t feel the same its all on deaf ears. And thats why I don’t say anything. The thought that maybe you will want me again with no confirmation, is better than being sure of the other. But hope is a dangerous thing to have and at the end of the day I’m the only one crying myself to sleep every night. So its kind of a loose loose situation.

PS. I know no one read these but sorry for the absence. Im kind of going through something.