Growing Older

The older I get the more I notice myself changing. Like when I was younger I used to LOVE rollercoasters, I would ride them all the time and feel so exhilarated. However, yesterday I got on a Ferris wheel and I was freaking out and holding onto the pole. Another example is my current love…

Seven Hours

I just experienced one of the scariest hours of my life. My mother called me hysterical not able to locate my father. She’d gone to the lengths of calling the police and having the whole family in a frenzy praying for his safe return. All I could think about was how much my dad didn’t…

FAITH IN GOD ALONE!

These last couple of days have been hell for me. I’d find myself weeping at least three times a day over the same old stuff I just can’t seem to shake. Shelf image, boys, trying to hear Gods voce, did I mention boys already if not BOYS! However, today I sat on the couch crying…

The hope I hold on to…

Sometimes I think if I could just get the perfect syntax put together you’d want me again. However, I know that no matter how masterful I say I love you and I want you and that i’d do ANYTHING for you. If you don’t feel the same its all on deaf ears. And thats why…

New semester, New me

I am starting a new semester tomorrow and I have to admit, I’m not excited. I’m more scared than anything and I’m not even 100% as to why. I plan on a lot this year: making new friends, making connections, and making amazing grades. And in my personal life, of course God first and foremost,…

Pretty

The book I am currently reading challenges the reader to define “Pretty” and “Ugly” what they really mean and how they define people. The Uglies by Scott Westerfeld, although I’m only on page 202, has sparked a rather interesting inner dialog. If I were in the future that this book describes I would be more…

Acceptance

I know I’ve been doing a lot of random “Just my thoughts” lately but I’ve just been thinking a lot I guess. Tonight i’m struggling with acceptance and seeing God’s plan for my life. A very important relationship just took a turn and i’ll miss the way things used to be, however maybe this is…

Issues

So, I have commitment issues and abandonment issues. Pretty much I have a lot of issues and I’m not sure how they came about. My parents are still married and they never dumped me on the side of the road. So I should be fine right? I don’t like being alone, but I don’t like…

Feelings

I hate saying “Sometimes I feel…” or  “I just feel like…” it makes me sound illogical or irrational, like as if I run off of emotions only. I only “feel” this way because of the things people have said to me in regards to my decision making skills. I don’t believe it is always a…

HAIR

So I put my hair in these little twisties and I don’t love them but they do allow me to be pretty lazy. And my hair is actually growing a lot considering this time last year I had a perm. And not just a perm, like a fresh perm! So I’m pretty excited, I am…

Insecurities

My arms, I HATE my arms. They are just so big and lumpy I wish I could cut them off sometimes. But, they do so much for me and I shouldn’t hate something I literally couldn’t do without. So whatever, they’re my arms and as long as they work and help me get through life…

Falling in love

Im starting to fall in love with my hair. I thought I could only love her when she was forced to be straight through chemicals or heat. But now I’m starting to really love her, without anything added to make her anything she’s not. Every kink and every curl tell a story of struggle and…