What may be my last…

This weekend I went on a trip to see my grandparents out in the counrty. I usually dont like going out there but, I honestly had nothing better to do. So i went, and I am so happy I did. My grandfather has almost lost all of his sight in both eyes and is isnt…

Peace?

What even is true peace? Is it not ever wanting to cry? Or is it feeling like life is finally the way you’ve always dreamed? Maybe its when the restlessness in your soul finally ceases? I’m going to go with the latter. I just want to be happy and I believe true peace will come when…

What’s you’re one true passion​?

I want to be passionate about something, I want to work tirelessly on something that brings me immense joy. Something that I work day and night on and when it doesn’t work out the way I planned, I am crushed. Right now there is nothing I can think of that would absolutely crush me…I wish…

Breakthrough?

I normally don’t feel “okay”. I am fearful for the fuure a lot and I dont trust God to forfill my happiness all the time. But, today while I was doing my makeshift yoga, I started praying and I dont know what happended but I just feel better now. I’m not saying i will feel…

What went through my mind when I​ found out he’s been using me.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this feeling before. It’s like being told that all the bad thoughts you ever had about yourself, you know the ones you kept pushing away. The thoughts that scared you or made you cry. ALL of them are true, and they are all sitting on your chest yelling at the top…

Fears

I absolutely love books, poems and reading in general. However, whenever I read something that supposed to be deep and meaningful I can never get there by myself. I just see the words and understand the literal meaning of what’s there. After I’ve read and “thought” I understood I get into class and my whole…

Growing Older

The older I get the more I notice myself changing. Like when I was younger I used to LOVE rollercoasters, I would ride them all the time and feel so exhilarated. However, yesterday I got on a Ferris wheel and I was freaking out and holding onto the pole. Another example is my current love…

Seven Hours

I just experienced one of the scariest hours of my life. My mother called me hysterical not able to locate my father. She’d gone to the lengths of calling the police and having the whole family in a frenzy praying for his safe return. All I could think about was how much my dad didn’t…

FAITH IN GOD ALONE!

These last couple of days have been hell for me. I’d find myself weeping at least three times a day over the same old stuff I just can’t seem to shake. Shelf image, boys, trying to hear Gods voce, did I mention boys already if not BOYS! However, today I sat on the couch crying…

The hope I hold on to…

Sometimes I think if I could just get the perfect syntax put together you’d want me again. However, I know that no matter how masterful I say I love you and I want you and that i’d do ANYTHING for you. If you don’t feel the same its all on deaf ears. And thats why…

New semester, New me

I am starting a new semester tomorrow and I have to admit, I’m not excited. I’m more scared than anything and I’m not even 100% as to why. I plan on a lot this year: making new friends, making connections, and making amazing grades. And in my personal life, of course God first and foremost,…

Pretty

The book I am currently reading challenges the reader to define “Pretty” and “Ugly” what they really mean and how they define people. The Uglies by Scott Westerfeld, although I’m only on page 202, has sparked a rather interesting inner dialog. If I were in the future that this book describes I would be more…